We haven’t sat down and chatted in awhile, and I am in dire need of a happy hour with some friends…soo..
If we were sitting down at a table together today, chances are that I wouldn’t just order a glass of wine, I’d order the entire bottle. And if I’m being completely honest, I probably would still make you order your own glass, I’m not willing to share that bottle today.
If you could do anything in the entire world right now, what would it be? I mean anything! What would you do? Where would you go? I guess what I’m asking you is, what is your biggest dream?
You want to know what I want to do? More than anything…and I’m sure half of you will think I’m nuts, and the other half will just roll their eyes and think I’m being dramatic. But I don’t care.
I want to get rid of everything. I want to stuff what I can into a suitcase, not a big one either, I want to sell everything or just give it away-I don’t even care, buy a car, a fun one..maybe an old convertible, pack up my kids and husband and hit the road. I don’t mean for a few weeks or a couple months, I mean for a looong time. I just want to go, to drive everywhere, to see everything, I want to NOT know where I will be when I wake up tomorrow, I don’t want to have any plans, I want every single day to be different than the day before.
I want adventure and excitement, I want spontaneity. I want to see the world. If I could do anything right now, that’s what I would do. I would give up the monotonous day to day crap. No more cleaning and cooking, no more laundry or worrying about toys, no more bills, or worrying about decorating for the season, or having a clean home, or doing the same things all the time, almost like reliving the same week over and over again. I would end all of that, and hit the road. I would completely disconnect.
I sound like I want to be a nomad, a gypsy. I sound like I’m whining, like I’m overwhelmed, or like I just don’t want any responsibilities. But none of that is it. I’d settle down eventually. I just feel at this moment in my life, that life is passing me by too quickly, and there is so much I want to be doing. I want to do more. I want to see more. I want to learn more. I want to be more.
Don’t take this all the wrong way, I am grateful for everything I have, and I know how blessed I am. I said it is my biggest dream, and I asked you yours. To be completely honest, I just feel a little lost right now..I’m not sure what I want to do next. Life didn’t go as planned, and that’s okay! I know it hardly ever does for anyone, But now I’m not sure where mine is going or what I want to do. I just wish that I could take a step back, get rid of it all, take off, and start from scratch somewhere, eventually.
I know that sounds incredibly drastic, and maybe really far-fetched to some, but not to me. If I could do it, I would do it in a single heartbeat. They say that we get one life, and we should take chances and follow our dreams, what they don’t tell you, is that they’re not always possible or realistic. Dreams, by (one) definition, are our deepest fears and desires. They are our hopes and ambitions.
And now you know mine. It may not be as big or as important as yours. I may not have a dream of curing aids or building schools for children in less fortunate countries, or becoming a doctor, or helping people, but my dream would help myself, and it would teach my children a lot. It would make me happy. And at the end of the day, at the end of this life, isn’t that what it’s all supposed to be about? Happiness-doing things that make us happy, and living a life that makes us feel full and proud.
I know that is what I want. So I ask you again, if you could do anything in this world right now, what would it be?